Despite the words that I used to worship, and the way my hands found hope in the soft slope of your hips, I'm different. And not entirely sure of what that means. Have I vomited up enough excuses to just get over it an be happy? Or should I sing out songs of doubt and try to stretch out my misery? Is that me? Is that even worth your time? The fact I sit here trying to think up something to label mine? It's fine. And you know you tell you are you. It's coincidental the, to say the least, I meet a hundred people a day who say they're every bit as fine as you. And it took a while yes, but I feel some part of me has passed. The part that re-read the signatures not printed on the cast of some broken ego. And I write this now like we're two much older friends sharing a week to say that we know. We've all been here before and we've all seen how this goes. You know, it's not right to live like this. So self-obsessed with finding another monster to address under a face that isn't mine. Solipsistic tight knit rhymes and deadlines, like the pages of these journals, so self-imposed to feel so exposed for whose sake, I don't really know.
And for all my claims of growing pains, it's safe to say I'm sure that not sure of anything between this year of nothing that seems to have occurred without me thinking. Shunning new city nights in spite of these spiteful nights of drinking deep toasts to the thoughts prevailing daily and so unfailingly of you. So thank you. For being something on my mind to buckle down like iron chains so I can say straight-faced, "I'm fine too".
released June 29, 2015
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